marriage minute | love is a choice

Each week my goal is to spend just a few minutes sharing a little bit about our marriage ...What we’re going through, What we’re succeeding in, What we’re struggling with, What we’re focusing on, What we’re learning, or just something about us and our story. Dustin will be contributing to this series once in awhile too! 
It will be called the "Marriage Minute."

For the first post, I wanted to share that LOVE is more than a FEELING. LOVE is a CHOICE and every day that you wake up, no matter what happened the day or night before -- you have to CHOOSE your mate over and over again to be yours.

Choose them to be your best friend. Choose them to be your ally. Choose them to be your confidant. Choose them to be your partner.
Choose them every day, the way you chose them at the altar on your wedding day.

Dustin and I are learning that we have changed a lot -- both since we started dating and since we got married. Having a baby definitely changes a relationship too, and it has taken time for us to adjust to our new roles as parents while still remembering that we were husband and wife before Olivia was born.

Dustin and I chose to marry each other -- he chose me and I chose him. Even when I learn more about Dustin or he learns more about me, when we see new sides of one another, when we discover characteristics about one another that we didn't know were there (whether good or bad), we have to make the choice to continue to love this person as much as we did when we said "I do."

As you live with someone, grow closer to them in marriage and especially parent alongside them, you begin to peel back the layers of who they are -- on a deeper level than you ever had before marriage and parenthood. To their core, they will always be the same person, but all the outer layers change as time passes and a person grows. As you peel back each layer over time -- whether over weeks, months or years -- no matter what each layer looks like, you have to wake up every day and CHOOSE them again.  No matter how you mate behaves, or how they've changed, you have to CHOOSE to love them and CHOOSE THEM to be YOURS every single day.

Make the choice to love them more every day, no matter what yesterday was like. One of the songs Dustin always played for me when we were dating and engaged says this:
"I love you more today than yesterday. But not as much as tomorrow." 

For our 1st anniversary, he even gave me a big print that says that as a constant reminder. I look at it every day as I leave the house.

Love is not just a feeling, it is an action. Love is a choice and we are both working on choosing LOVE over frustration, anger, disappointment, etc. On tough days where we disagree on something or there is a miscommunication that leads to an argument, it is hard to remember to make the choice to love. It would be easier to stay upset and distance ourselves, to blame it on time and how the person is different than they were when we married them. It's easy to make excuses.
But instead of making excuses, instead of distancing ourselves, instead of sulking in disappointment, we make the choice to love. We go to bed, we wake up and we choose each other each morning, the same way we did on September 1st, 2012. 

1 comment:

  1. You are wise beyond your years Megan! I will take your words to heart and try to let my heart lead me...not my emotions.


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